Well. I wrote this the other day, via my phone, on a break at work, and posted it as "under construction." Then I thought more about it, and felt strongly that I should just erase it. Fighting that feeling, I've decided to post it, unedited (though I will add another bit.) It is what it is. have at it. Tell me I'm wrong. Or?...
(Orginal Post)
Boys and Girls can be friends... But there's no easy way... And what do you do when an attraction develops? Good luck, cause there's no right answer... not one that always works anyway... Do you have any idea how many people, have a crush on a friend, but nothing is ever said because of the damage it could cause? I wish we could find a way to be more open, honest and mature about relationships and our feelings.
(New Thoughts)
If it wasn't for all the stress and potential for heartbreak and heartache, would we lose a lot of the joys and satisfaction, the appreciation of having a "good" relationship?
I don't know. I guess it's just a question that I have yet to find the answer. It's probably not a simple yes or no, either. But here I sit Twenty Six and a Half years old, baffled by relationships as much as ever, and though I'm convinced that I want one, I doubt that I'm really ready, because I don't think that who I am, or where I am right now, is ready to put up with the normal BS that I see in most relationships. I want something that is true, and doesn't keep me guessing... Something In your face, Blunt and Honest. I don't want to play a game. Do I have to be willing to bow to some (seemingly) retarded set of traditional rules, just to be able to have that special girl?
And I do feel like it will always be a fight. I see in myself that desire to just boil it down to simplicity and do away with anything deemed (by me) unnecessary... But there is a reason for it all, I have no doubt. It's just tiring.
It will always be a fight to have something that's even just a little bit different. (Though sometimes I think that what I really want is something crazy different.) Everything is pushed into boxes, into classes, so that it can be understood, catered to, and exploited. God, that sounds so negative. But that's what I see... that's the fight I ever try and win. Accepting those differences in myself is the hardest battle, understanding them and accepting them.
That's what I got for now. I feel positive about it all. I hope that's how you take it. Peace.
Matti
2 comments:
I have to say you're the first guy I've heard say that guys and girls can be friends. I thought I was the only one beating that drum. Yes, of course, crushes are going to develop. Some people develop crushes on random people they see walking down the street. The question, of course, is what do you do about it. The "rules", spoken or unspoken, that all of us grew up with say that we can't be friends with the opposite sex. But why can't we just be more mature about it than that. We are human, after all. One of the things that makes us human is a certain amount of ability to control our instincts, channel our emotions into the most constructive actions. Why not be willing to maturely deepen the relationships that matter most, without the pretense of exclusivity or the premature physical complications. Eventually one will present itself as the one we choose to carry on forever, and it will have developed in such a way that its roots are strong and its foundation is sure. And the other relationships will carry on or fade as need be, because they were honestly founded in love that (we hope) does not fail. We all need to learn to love better. This is how I wish it could be anyway.
Thanks for the comment Becky, you have a good understanding of what I'm trying to say :)
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