about Books

First, I have to comment on one more Movie before we move on to the next subject... 'Star Trek' I was a bit skeptical when I first heard about it, a few months ago. But after seeing a couple previews and finding out more about who was in the cast and all that, I went with more anticipation than reservation... I'm glad to say I wasn't disappointed. I have seen a fair amount of the original show 'Star Trek', and watched 'The Next Generation' quite regularly, so I would classify myself as a fan, but not a "Trekkie". I really don't have much criticism of it, except I suppose with the character of "Spock" I think that it did take away a bit from the stoic, logicality and, obviously, played up his ability for emotion. But seeing as he is half human, and that being part of the reason he went to 'Star Fleet' I guess it makes sense. (Yikes, I might be sounding to trekish)

Time to move on. :)

Books: I've been reading quite a lot, up until about a month ago, when I seem to have gotten really busy... During that time (starting mid August I suppose) I read all seven installments of 'Harry Potter' for the first time... They are captivating books, very well written and very well thought out... I like how the author (J. K. Rowling) tied everything in, and created such a fantastical world, right under our very noses... I know there's some controversy as to wether they are sutible for children, and yes, there is quite a bit of magic... but I think that if kids (or adults for that matter) are able to read Tolkien's 'Hobbit' and 'Rings', and Lewis' 'Narnia' and hopefully are able to distinguish between reality and fantasy, then there are many good things that can be taken from these books. My Opinion.

Following that I read 'The Dragon King Trilogy' by Stephen Lawhead, being such a fan of everything else he's written, I had to read this series. It's pretty good. Not as good as most of his other stuff, but even if this is his worst (and worst is such a bad sounding word) it's still very good. It's just that once you've read 'The Song of Albion Trilogy' and his 'Pendragon Cycle' it's hard to top those.

Oh! Did I mention that I finished reading 'The Once and Future King'? What an amazing book, I can't remember when I read and finished it... but it did take me quite a few months... partly because of the amount of time I devoted to reading, and partly because of the book (I did find it a bit hard to get through certain parts) but it was well worth the effort. Absolutely loved it!
Thanks go to Katie Woo, I believe, for recommending. Thanks!

Let's see... what else?

Ah Yes! 'The Count Of Monte Cristo' is my most recent book read, and another awesome book as well. Already a big fan of Dumas with 'The Three Musketeers' I've wanted to read it for quite awhile, and am so happy that I finally did. I think the thanks for recommendation goes to my sister Mary for this one. I remember she read it years ago and told me how good it was. Thanks!

But alas, all good things must come to an end (so they say) and as this bit of my blog must, so too does my extra reading time...

I'm now back to my regular pace and am currently reading 'The Princess Bride' which, one chapter in, is already a favorite. I've seen the Movie many times, and we have all heard it quoted time and again, so it's nice to read it and see what all the fuss is about :) We'll see. I'll let you all know what I think when I'm finished.

Other Books I'm in the process of reading:

'A Tale of Two Cities' I've been working on this for a few months, and have actually tried at a couple different times over the last few years... but other "funner" reads seem to keep popping up. I will finish it.

'Atlas Shrugged' just barely started this, it's a giant read, and will take me quite awhile I'm sure. But it does seem very interesting.


If you have any recommendations, feel free. I love good books.

Thanks for reading. Keep reading, this (if you like) and other great works.

Education isn't something that can be given to anyone, it's only something that can be given to oneself. - 'I just made it up... But it is true, no?

Peace.

- Matti

Etc.

I can't believe how the time flies by... so long since my last post, and I think back on all that's kept me busy and find that it's quite the average list... Not something that most of you would find interesting. So I thought I'd just post a couple of my opinions on movies I've seen and books I've read in the last few months... and new music that I've found cool.

Music first, since it's on the brain at the moment...

Dan Wilson, the Lead singer for Semisonic released a few solo songs after the band broke up. I found that out a few days ago, and he's got a couple cool songs I found. I've always liked Semisonic a lot and felt that they never got their due. 'Breathless' is one of the tracks.

Ever heard of 'The Features' ? another very cool band, found out about them a couple months ago. A couple favorite tracks are: 'The Idea of Growing Old', 'Lions' and 'Me and the Skirts'
I really like everything I've heard of theirs so far.

If you, like me, are not a very big fan of the hip-hop genre, I think you may be pleasantly surprised by 'Hilltop Hoods' an Aussie group. I was.
'The Nosebleed Section' and 'Dumb Enough?' are two fine examples.

And to wrap up, the new album by 'Green Day', '21st Century Breakdown' is quite good. I've already listened to it several times, it's the type that grows on you over time, I think, though I liked it pretty well the first time. Also, 'Ben Harper' has a new album too, with 'The Relentless 7' I've only heard a couple tracks, but what I have heard is some really good 'Ben'

On to Movies: (How'm I doin so far?)

Just watched 'Slumdog Millionaire' on Wednesday night for the first time... I have to say, it deserved all the praise it got and then some... I can't believe the main actor didn't get nominated. I like things like that, with destiny and stuff.
"d. It was written"

Last night I watched 'Joe vs. The Volcano', which I found out, I'd seen half of before... It's a later '80's flick with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, pretty good I must say.
Makes me want to live in awe of life and everything around me, not be one of the so many who are asleep their whole life.

Also warched 'Hot Fuzz', for the third or fourth time, a week or so ago. I love, love , love it.
A bit of British comedy mixed into a who-dun-it. I highly recommend. Though do be careful, there is a fair bit of grisly-ness when the crimes happen.

A couple Movies I'm looking forward to:

'Year One' (Jack Black and Michael Cera)
'Public Enemies' (Christian Bale and Johnny Depp)
'Moon' (Sam Rockwell)

And I've run out of time... next time I'll talk Books. I've done a fair bit of reading since last we talked... mostly good stuff.

Until next time. Appreciate each moment, Life is awesome... even when it's hard.

Peace,

Matti

P.S. keep an eye out for more frequent posts here... I'll make an effort to be more consistent, and as always, I appreciate any kind of feedback :)

A quote, from "Benjamin Button"

Sometimes we're on a collision course, and we just don't know it. Whether it's by accident or by design, there's not a thing we can do about it. A woman in Paris was on her way to go shopping, but she had forgotten her coat - went back to get it. When she had gotten her coat, the phone had rung, so she'd stopped to answer it; talked for a couple of minutes. While the woman was on the phone, Daisy was rehearsing for a performance at the Paris Opera House. And while she was rehearsing, the woman, off the phone now, had gone outside to get a taxi. Now a taxi driver had dropped off a fare earlier and had stopped to get a cup of coffee. And all the while, Daisy was rehearsing. And this cab driver, who dropped off the earlier fare; who'd stopped to get the cup of coffee, had picked up the lady who was going shopping, and had missed getting an earlier cab. The taxi had to stop for a man crossing the street, who had left for work five minutes later than he normally did, because he forgot to set off his alarm. While that man, late for work, was crossing the street, Daisy had finished rehearsing, and was taking a shower. And while Daisy was showering, the taxi was waiting outside a boutique for the woman to pick up a package, which hadn't been wrapped yet, because the girl who was supposed to wrap it had broken up with her boyfriend the night before, and forgot. When the package was wrapped, the woman, who was back in the cab, was blocked by a delivery truck, all the while Daisy was getting dressed. The delivery truck pulled away and the taxi was able to move, while Daisy, the last to be dressed, waited for one of her friends, who had broken a shoelace. While the taxi was stopped, waiting for a traffic light, Daisy and her friend came out the back of the theater...

And if only one thing had happened differently: if that shoelace hadn't broken; or that delivery truck had moved moments earlier; or that package had been wrapped and ready, because the girl hadn't broken up with her boyfriend; or that man had set his alarm and got up five minutes earlier; or that taxi driver hadn't stopped for a cup of coffee; or that woman had remembered her coat, and got into an earlier cab, Daisy and her friend would've crossed the street, and the taxi would've driven by.
But life being what it is - a series of intersecting lives and incidents, out of anyone's control - that taxi did not go by, and that driver was momentarily distracted, and that taxi hit Daisy, and her leg was crushed.

Time For Change

There's a certain feel that comes with winter, and I felt it last night... Last night, when it was still fifty degree at midnight, no snow in sight, but I still felt it... It was like a warm shiver, I could smell and taste it in the air... The Changing of the Seasons. It is a good thing.

We need the seasons, more than I think we know. You can only continue on the same course, doing the same things for x-amount of time before the joy we derive from it fades, and it becomes nothing more than another chore.

America is changing, and some will say that it is for the better, some for the worse... and both are right I think, things must change. What we have been, we can no longer be. Even if the change we experience today is "for the worse" it is a change that moves us toward the better.

There are plenty of challenges ahead, and, for some, it's going to get harder before it get's easier.

Just remember there is a plan and a purpose to all these things. Keep hope alive.

I'd write more, but I must not.

'til next time - Matti

Money Makes The World Go 'Round

Hindsight is said to be 20/20. Foresight, impossible. Insight... too rare.

Imagine, if you will, a world of corrupt politics and greed, and then try to imagine it all changing to a beautiful world where all men are treated equal and government of the people, by the people and for the people exist in more than some sort of dream state.

The problem, some say, started during the Clinton years, when our nation started lending hundreds of thousands of dollars to people who were never going to be able to pay it back... Others say it is because of the war and Bush's policy of spend, spend, spend... There are many differing views and I can see good points in most of them, but I think these are all symptoms rather than causes, symptoms of somethings so much bigger, and I'm sure I've written something to this effect in the past...

The people in our government are career politicians and have lost touch with what an honest days work is worth, so much more than dollars and cents, it actually keeps things in perspective, reminding us how much we all rely on one another for the lives we live... Money won't catch us when we fall, not like the arms of our fellow men and women. But I think, (I don't know for a fact) that having millions of dollars might be enough to tempt me into trusting money rather than the goodwill of others...

I don't have the time to sit here and write out all my thoughts in the right words... but maybe my readers will get a glimpse of the point.

I'll leave you with this: as the times get harder, try not to let it make you hard... remember to trust the ones who God has put into your life and trust that our creator has a purpose and a plan. Only God has the hindsight and the foresight that is a 20/20 vision of reality.

Peace - Matti

As we live, we forget...

It does seem that there are many things we forget over the course of time and the last two postings are a couple of things that i have heard of many times, but have never taken the time to read, never even really thought to read... and so, I have never even known the words the come before and after "ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country" and there are many. And Lincoln's speech, in the face of an ongoing civil war, with no certainty of the outcome, is quite amazing...
That is our history. That is what has afforded us these freedoms that we all take for granted everyday. Thank God for our leaders of the past, and I'm praying for those of our future that they maybe lead us in the right direction.

John F. Kennedy’s Inaugural Address

Here also is John F. Kennedy's Inaugural Address, which Obama's speech was also compared to.


"Vice President Johnson, Mr. Speaker, Mr. Chief Justice, President Eisenhower, Vice President Nixon, President Truman, reverend clergy, fellow citizens, we observe today not a victory of party, but a celebration of freedom—symbolizing an end, as well as a beginning—signifying renewal, as well as change. For I have sworn before you and Almighty God the same solemn oath our forebears prescribed nearly a century and three quarters ago.
The world is very different now. For man holds in his mortal hands the power to abolish all forms of human poverty and all forms of human life. And yet the same revolutionary beliefs for which our forebears fought are still at issue around the globe—the belief that the rights of man come not from the generosity of the state, but from the hand of God.
We dare not forget today that we are the heirs of that first revolution. Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans—born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace, proud of our ancient heritage—and unwilling to witness or permit the slow undoing of those human rights to which this Nation has always been committed, and to which we are committed today at home and around the world.
Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.
This much we pledge—and more.
To those old allies whose cultural and spiritual origins we share, we pledge the loyalty of faithful friends. United, there is little we cannot do in a host of cooperative ventures. Divided, there is little we can do—for we dare not meet a powerful challenge at odds and split asunder.
To those new States whom we welcome to the ranks of the free, we pledge our word that one form of colonial control shall not have passed away merely to be replaced by a far more iron tyranny. We shall not always expect to find them supporting our view. But we shall always hope to find them strongly supporting their own freedom—and to remember that, in the past, those who foolishly sought power by riding the back of the tiger ended up inside.
To those peoples in the huts and villages across the globe struggling to break the bonds of mass misery, we pledge our best efforts to help them help themselves, for whatever period is required—not because the Communists may be doing it, not because we seek their votes, but because it is right. If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.
To our sister republics south of our border, we offer a special pledge—to convert our good words into good deeds—in a new alliance for progress—to assist free men and free governments in casting off the chains of poverty. But this peaceful revolution of hope cannot become the prey of hostile powers. Let all our neighbors know that we shall join with them to oppose aggression or subversion anywhere in the Americas. And let every other power know that this Hemisphere intends to remain the master of its own house.
To that world assembly of sovereign states, the United Nations, our last best hope in an age where the instruments of war have far outpaced the instruments of peace, we renew our pledge of support—to prevent it from becoming merely a forum for invective—to strengthen its shield of the new and the weak—and to enlarge the area in which its writ may run.
Finally, to those nations who would make themselves our adversary, we offer not a pledge but a request: that both sides begin anew the quest for peace, before the dark powers of destruction unleashed by science engulf all humanity in planned or accidental self-destruction.
We dare not tempt them with weakness. For only when our arms are sufficient beyond doubt can we be certain beyond doubt that they will never be employed.
But neither can two great and powerful groups of nations take comfort from our present course—both sides overburdened by the cost of modern weapons, both rightly alarmed by the steady spread of the deadly atom, yet both racing to alter that uncertain balance of terror that stays the hand of mankind's final war.
So let us begin anew—remembering on both sides that civility is not a sign of weakness, and sincerity is always subject to proof. Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.
Let both sides explore what problems unite us instead of belaboring those problems which divide us.
Let both sides, for the first time, formulate serious and precise proposals for the inspection and control of arms—and bring the absolute power to destroy other nations under the absolute control of all nations.
Let both sides seek to invoke the wonders of science instead of its terrors. Together let us explore the stars, conquer the deserts, eradicate disease, tap the ocean depths, and encourage the arts and commerce.
Let both sides unite to heed in all corners of the earth the command of Isaiah—to "undo the heavy burdens ... and to let the oppressed go free."
And if a beachhead of cooperation may push back the jungle of suspicion, let both sides join in creating a new endeavor, not a new balance of power, but a new world of law, where the strong are just and the weak secure and the peace preserved.
All this will not be finished in the first 100 days. Nor will it be finished in the first 1,000 days, nor in the life of this Administration, nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. But let us begin.
In your hands, my fellow citizens, more than in mine, will rest the final success or failure of our course. Since this country was founded, each generation of Americans has been summoned to give testimony to its national loyalty. The graves of young Americans who answered the call to service surround the globe.
Now the trumpet summons us again—not as a call to bear arms, though arms we need; not as a call to battle, though embattled we are—but a call to bear the burden of a long twilight struggle, year in and year out, "rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation"—a struggle against the common enemies of man: tyranny, poverty, disease, and war itself.
Can we forge against these enemies a grand and global alliance, North and South, East and West, that can assure a more fruitful life for all mankind? Will you join in that historic effort?
In the long history of the world, only a few generations have been granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger. I do not shrink from this responsibility—I welcome it. I do not believe that any of us would exchange places with any other people or any other generation. The energy, the faith, the devotion which we bring to this endeavor will light our country and all who serve it—and the glow from that fire can truly light the world.
And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.
My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.
Finally, whether you are citizens of America or citizens of the world, ask of us the same high standards of strength and sacrifice which we ask of you. With a good conscience our only sure reward, with history the final judge of our deeds, let us go forth to lead the land we love, asking His blessing and His help, but knowing that here on earth God's work must truly be our own. " - John F. Kennedy

Lincoln’s second inaugural address

Tonight I heard someone on the newshows compare Barak Obama's nomination acception speech with the Second Inaugural Address of Abraham Lincoln, and having never read this speech before I googled it, and then I thought I'd share it with you my friends. So, for those of you who are interested, read on and enjoy. It's not long and, I find, very interesting. Thanks for reading, sorry I've not been around much as of late. - Matt

"Fellow Countrymen:

At this second appearing to take the oath of the presidential office, there is less occasion for an extended address than there was at the first. Then a statement, somewhat in detail, of a course to be pursued, seemed fitting and proper. Now, at the expiration of four years, during which public declarations have been constantly called forth on every point and phase of the great contest which still absorbs the attention, and engrosses the energies of the nation, little that is new could be presented. The progress of our arms, upon which all else chiefly depends, is as well known to the public as to myself; and it is, I trust, reasonably satisfactory and encouraging to all. With high hope for the future, no prediction in regard to it is ventured.

On the occasion corresponding to this four years ago, all thoughts were anxiously directed to an impending civil-war. All dreaded it -- all sought to avert it. While the inaugural address was being delivered from this place, devoted altogether to saving the Union without war, insurgent agents were in the city seeking to destroy it without war -- seeking to dissolve the Union, and divide effects, by negotiation. Both parties deprecated war; but one of them would make war rather than let the nation survive; and the other would accept war rather than let it perish. And the war came.

One eighth of the whole population were colored slaves, not distributed generally over the Union, but localized in the Southern part of it. These slaves constituted a peculiar and powerful interest. All knew that this interest was, somehow, the cause of the war. To strengthen, perpetuate, and extend this interest was the object for which the insurgents would rend the Union, even by war; while the Government claimed no right to do more than to restrict the territorial enlargement of it. Neither party expected for the war, the magnitude, or the duration, which it has already attained. Neither anticipated that the cause of the conflict might cease with, or even before, the conflict itself should cease. Each looked for an easier triumph, and a result less fundamental and astounding. Both read the same Bible, and pray to the same God; and each invokes His aid against the other. It may seem strange that any men should dare to ask a just God's assistance in wringing their bread from the sweat of other men's faces; but let us judge not that we be not judged. The prayers of both could not be answered; that of neither has been answered fully. The Almighty has His own purposes. "Woe unto the world because of offenses! for it must needs be that offenses come; but woe to that man by whom the offense cometh!" If we shall suppose that American Slavery is one of those offenses which, in the providence of God, must needs come, but which, having continued through His appointed time, He now wills to remove, and that He gives to both North and South, this terrible war, as the woe due to those by whom the offense came, shall we discern therein any departure from those divine attributes which the believers in a Living God always ascribe to Him? Fondly do we hope -- fervently do we pray -- that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue, until all the wealth piled by the bond-man's two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash, shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said "the judgments of the Lord, are true and righteous altogether."

With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in; to bind up the nation's wounds; to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow, and his orphan -- to do all which may achieve and cherish a just, and a lasting peace, among ourselves, and with all nations. " - Abraham Lincoln

Life, And...

Why is it that at times life seems to be almost too simple, yet at other times it's way to complicated? and it can shift in a matter of a moment... it's just so odd...

Sorry I haven't posted in sooo long, the list of excuses is very long, but I'll not bore you with the details... suffice it to say that I've been busy, but also know that all is well.

My relationship with Laura is three months old and counting, and I'm not trying to brag, or jinx it either, but so far it been pretty much drama free and very comfortable... honestly it's changed a lot of my preconceived notions about relationships.

I find myself in the thick of another fruit and veggie, growing, harvesting, selling season with the goal of proving to myself and others that a living can be made from such a lifestyle. God in His infinite wisdom continues to try our faith as to that point, and we continue to rely on Him to help us through...

The weather has been odd, and we are continuously adapting and learning, and though rising gas costs are a growing cause for concern, our wonderful customers have been very supportive.

Every now and then my mind catches on a certain thread of thought and I think "I should blog about that." but as it is, I don't take the time, and later it's gone from my mind, leaving me with nothing, only grasping wishes for some clear memory or something else interesting to write... though as we all know, there is no easier way to snuff out the creative writing process than to sit down and try to write creatively

Also, I've found that I write better when I'm in darker moods, or a bit depressed (though I really should work on writing of happy, joyful things) and seeing as I've not been there in quite some time, there really should be no curiosity as to why I've not been writing

I promise to try and like something that I write in joy, enough to share it with you my friends and readers... soon... though soon myay very well be a month or more... but I do promise to try. Thanks for reading and feel free to write me... I love to hear from all of you and hate it when I feel so out of touch.

Peace - Matti

Let It Go

At some point we'll all get there, to the point of understanding, that to love is to forgive, and that it's more than words, but life itself. Only when we forgive can we really honestly face what we have become, who we are and only then can we really change anything.

We gotta walk away from excuses, all those thoughts and wishes for things to be different... here is part of that truth in the bible, when it says:

Why do you try to fix what is wrong with others, when you have something even bigger that is wrong with yourself? First fix yourself, then you'll actually be in a position to help someone else

That's a paraphrase of course, but it's the truth.

We don't want to face who we are, and what we do, so we make excuses... Weather it's parents, brothers, sisters, friends, relationships, education, the boss, co-workers... you name it, it's been used as an excuse for why we've done something, or why we continue to do these things... And at the same time we are critical of each other and all of our imperfections.

Let it go. We are who we are and if we're not happy, nothing that anyone else can give us will make us so. Let it go, and move on, make the most of what time we have left, it may not be as long as we think... it may be longer.

I'm not saying to go apologize to anyone, or try and rebuild relationships that have failed. Just take that first step and forgive, even if they haven't done anything to deserve it... Their change is not the concern, ourselves is what is at issue, personal happiness, and self acceptance of who we are.

And lastly, (though there's probably much more to this than I'll write) forgive yourself. I've got news for you, we're not part of the "perfect race" we are part of the "human race". It's not a color, not a degree, not a level of intelligence, not male or female. Humanity; imperfection at it's best, vulnerable, ugly, annoying and mistake prone, yet lovable all at the same time.

Perfection is what we strive for, perfection is the ideal. But it's not an all or nothing thing... and with a little grace, and a helping hand we can get closer to it together, than any of us as individuals can ever hope to alone.

Love, Forgive and be at Peace - Matti

The Truth Is...

Disguised and disappearing into a haze of lies...
Crying as it all walks away...
Don't run, don't follow, no...
Just wait for the morrow...
Sitting, despised, too many what's and why's...
Foolishness and sadness, turning to madness...
Lost, found, what's the difference...
Care too much and lose it all...

Crying as it all walks away...
What was it all for, if not everything that is now left?

The truth is...

...if not for what was, there would not be what is...
...this moment, cause of the past...
...the future, cause of what happened last...
...what's lost, what's found, is the difference.

The truth is...

...there are many I's and U's, -th's and -ist's, separated by all that comes before, united in a common ending, united in what's behind the final door.

The truth is...

...lost among the clutter of history, lost to time...
...buried beneath those sands...
...hidden by invisible hands.

The truth is...

...found in individuals spread across a spinning sphere...
...scattered in small pieces, like glass along a beach...
...beautiful, worn smooth and washed clean...
...growing smaller and smaller every year

Polaroids Of The Future Don't Exist

All pictures are of the past.
Here in the present - never view a half empty glass
Most things seldom last.
Believe it or not - Life moves fast.
There's purpose in all that has passed.
What was, what is, and what will be -
is at times a matter of the view - see?

Not in you my friends - in me, there do be
but I can't see through your eyes
though your question hangs thick
what is this disguise, why are we converted to spies?
Not for the sake deceit or of lies
it's donned with heavy heart and sighs
little by little - it's breaking away
would that I could quicken the pace
bringing to the front my true face

alas, this is not to be the case
no... Polaroids of the future don't exist
it becomes clear at the same rate as we...
...wait through those minutes. wait and see

so I'm waiting also - to see what I've become
I'm waiting also - to figure what I've done
- to realize what I must do
- to step back far enough
- to see the entire view
of me and you

Just give it this little bit of time
after that we'll figure out - not if, but - how we rhyme

Friday's Faces

It's Friday and it feels like a friday, the first friday before the first farmers market of the season, and it feels like that also... I don't know how to explain it, there's just a certain feeling that comes with this time of year, and I absolutely love it.

now the bad news :(

Today it is spring and everything is blooming, the peaches, plums, apricots and even the cherries are just starting... we are at a season normal sixty-two degrees... but Tomorrow... A Twenty-Two degree drop in the high temperature, and a dip below freezing at night... say it ain't so :( - but what can one do about the weather? Just hope and pray I suppose.

Despite the dark forecast in the coming days, I am hoping that the reports are a bit wrong, and the fruit will survive. I am making my best attempt at optimism :)

On other fronts, and as I only barely hinted at in my last blog, I've met a special someone and she's a pretty cool someone at that. As much as I love to blog, I dunno how much I should say about her. But I wanted to let you all know a bit, and keep you all updated on my life... that's what blogs are about right? - though mine tends to vear dramatically towards existentialism and odd thoughts as a rule - all you need to know right now, I suppose, is that I'm happy, which is a very good thing.

There's more I want to write. But I must wait. Work calls and I must answer. Thanks for reading. Until next time. - Matti

What I wrote, I do not know + Life Update.

Many times I wonder what you think I'm saying in all the random things I write... If I don't really know what to think sometimes, then I have no expectations, only curiousity. And then I had the thought that no matter what I write, the reader usually will have a different view on what I've wrote and what my motives might be for writing it. Just a thought I had today while planting trees.

What am I saying to you? Feel free to share... you can even write it in a note, if you don't want to post it for the world. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Life Update: (I haven't done one of these in awhile... A lot has been happening, but I find that I really don't write about what I do much, and I don't really understand that either)

Spring is here and with it a lot of garden work. We purchased a 1500 gallon water tank, built a drain field, and layed about 500 feet of pipe, all last week.

We are going to run drip irrigation of that tank to water the twenty peach trees and 100 blackberry plants that were are working planting this week and weekend. hoping to have those all in by Wednesday.

We are also planting five apple trees, four apricot trees, twenty-five golden raspberry plants, ten blueberry bushes... and we have four thousand strawberry plants arriving close to April 21st.

Am I busy enough? lol, it's good.

There ya go... Life is rolling on, with some exciting things happening, and there will be more life updates coming soon, so stay tuned.

Thanks for reading, all of you that still do.

Pieces of Art or of a Ticklish Heart

This is a mess, but to much to just erase. So you may view them, in all their shattered thought processes and maybe someday I'll expound on one or more. Enjoy.

There were moments
not so long ago
I dreamed of things
I never thought would be true
things that only live in dreams
not existing is this world it seems
and though I can't remember it all
I think it was of you, I dreamed
of things we'd do
of places we'd go

happiness is ignorance
as we live, we learn
studying to make ourselves sick
trying to extend our dying moments
by a hundred or more years

my heart headed west years ago
leaving me alone in tears
as it wanders the coast
I'm still sittin here waitin
for it to come home
come on home
and don't leave me alone
can't you see I miss you
can't you hear it in my voice
see it reflected in your eyes

I'm finding out a few new things
about wizards, kings and golden rings

I have a ticklish heart
I can't help but laugh
even as it tears me apart

every tear has a solitary meaning
this one is happy, that one sad
every fear has it's own tear
from the past years
I wanna torch the fears
burn them all away

she played chopsticks
and I tapped my foot in time
no matter the words we spoke
we couldn't help but rhyme

Imaginating, Imitating, Immobilising

Take this brush, this quill
paint us all some imagery
as the words become
photos in our heads
little pictures
snapshots in our minds
of far of places
long lost times

missing those moments
we'll rise and fall with the waves
and when we return to shore
we'll try it again once more
to find happiness, to be saved

build another life
based on another dream
a different dream, yet not so strange
will this stand or fall against the waves
swept once more out to sea
swept once more out to dream

dreaming as we float away
miles away from all we once knew
all we once thought we knew
you knew me and I knew you
neither one could comprehend the view

surging round in this whirlpool of life
fighting hard to live without strife
no war, we want peace
or something close at least

somewhere in the night we fight
you win, I wander
vanquished, on my own
I return , we atone
I'll not leave you alone

The Clocks Are Ticking. Time And Again.

making time
taking time
sometimes
faking time

time to talk
time to waken
time to remember
time to pretend

time to believe
or forget
time to walk away
or stand

do you have time to lend a hand?
do you have a hand to lend some time?
the eye has time to to judge in the second
echoing through the next hundred moments
denial also takes a second
echoing through eternity

time to sleep
time to weep
whisper
fear
is that a tear?

more time now to be happy or sad
but things really haven’t changed over time
time was, when we were simple, but no more glad
there are times when we all get mad

one can’t buy it
it’s more valuable than gold
no one owns it
and it’s not something you can accept or reject
but it’s a gift we’re all given
to invest as we must
as we learn time and time again

where and when is time for love...

12:03am April 3rd 2008

I Remember

I remember lightning and thunder storms when I was young and how I thought lightning bolts were the most amazing thing I’d even seen... I remember when we lived back in Ohio and how the lightning there is not in bolt form, it’s sheet lightning and lights the sky as bright as day for a few split seconds...

I remember the first time I heard this U2 song, "Bad", that is playing right now on my iTunes... And this emotional connection that I felt with the words that were sung and the tune wake things laid dormant for so many seasons, opening up a whole new world of imagination... This feeling continues on in smaller doses with every new song I love...

I remember that first time I had a crush on a girl, and I didn’t understand what it was all about, but all I wanted to do was be with her every moment that we were together, and if she didn’t want to play regular tag, but freeze tag, then I wanted to play freeze tag also. I believe it was love... So many things are love in life, but when we’re young we don’t understand (that’s the beginning of our understanding, it those first feelings that set us to pursue the quest of finding out what that is and how to keep it with us for the rest of our lives... I started Thirteen years ago and have yet to figure out the answer... but I’m getting there/closer/better) I think when we get to where I am now "almost old" things start falling into place... for some it happens early, for some it happens late, nothing wrong with either... there is no perfect age to love. I

It’s a process, that’s all I’m saying. And yes, I think it is better to have the close encounters, the heartbreaks and the alone time, to work out some personal issues. I think, in the long-run these do us an unmeasurable amount of good.

I remember standing by the sea and feeling the wind and the salt in the air, the sand beneath my feet, and being so in awe of how big and blue it all was... I remember...

I remember when I started caring what others thought of me... and realizing that I wanted to be like everyone else... ever since then, I’ve been trying to get back to just being me, because the worlds standards are cruel and petty and a lot of times unfair, unjust, hypocrisy...

I remember the night that God started making sense, and stopped being a fairytale, or just another story in a book. The actual thought that God really existed. Not that I’d ever doubted, I’d just never consciously thought about it. That happened about Three years after love jumped in...

I am reminded everyday that unselfishness makes for a much happier life, and simplicity is much less stressful...

I’m reminded that good friends, good food and good conversation are three of the best things in life.

I’m reminded that God is good and it is by his power and grace that the world turns and we wake every morning.

Afternoon

The clock ticks away the seconds as decisions are made. In the kitchen the rice is almost done. "To the coast," he said, "that’s where I must go, that’s where I belong, out on the sea..." "But will you ever come back?" she cried "What shall I do with myself when you’re gone?" "Come with me!" he says. But he knows in his heart she won’t, she can’t... There’s a few moments of silence, as he looks at her, then looks past her, it’s breaks his heart to leave, and breaks hers to stay. Finally he breaks the quiet... "Do what you must do. I cannot stay... when you are finished, leave word at the port, I will return. Hurry and finish." And he walked away... "Wait!" she cried. "You forgot your rice, you’ll starve."

A Collection of Things, Big and Small

Here is first something new from me, and second some text from "The Once And Future King" which I have been reading much of late. Enjoy.

...and I, in the dark, the one feared most
I, standing against the oncoming tides
holding back this dark host, I
No three hundred behind or before, only I
yet stand I, against the one most feared
I, feared by the one, that is feared by I
Surrounded. Helpless. Alone. I.
Against I. I stand. I falter. I fall.
Drowned. Crushed. Broken.
Yet again, I stand, yet again.
Ever I stand and ever I fall.
I, on my knees, for mercy I call
Not I, but grace, lifts me to stand
Yet again, I stand, yet again.
Though now, as I’ve long known
I may stand, yet not alone.

~

"They were to press the war home to its real lords-until they themselves were ready to refrain from warfare, being confronted with its reality." - "The Once And Future King" - T.H.White

"There is a thing called knowledge of the world, which people do not have until they are middle-aged. It is something which cannot be taught to younger people, because it is not logical and does not obey laws which are constant. It has no rules." - "The Once And Future King" - T.H.White

"Balance was the sixth sense, which she won when she first learned to walk, and now she has the seventh one --- knowledge of the world.

The slow discovery of the seventh sense, by which both men and women contrive to ride the waves of a world in which there is war, adultery, compromise, fear, stultification and hypocrisy --- this discovery is not a matter for triumph. The baby, perhaps, cries out triumphantly: I have balance! But the seventh sense is recognized without a cry. We only carry on with our famous knowledge of the world, riding the queer waves in a habitual, petrifying way, because we have reached a stage of deadlock in which we can think of nothing else to do.

And at this stage we begin to forget that there ever was a time when we lacked the seventh sense. We begin to forget, as we go stolidly balancing along, that there could have been a time when we were young bodies flaming with the impetus of life. It is hardly consoling to remember such a feeling and so it deadens in our minds.

But there was a time when each of us stood naked before the world, confronting life as a serious problem with which we were intimately and passionately concerned. There was a time when it was of vital interest to us to find out whether there was a God or not." - "The Once And Future King" - T.H.White